"Maximum Romance"; or, "Burned-Out's Last Light's-Out"

"Lonely Hunter(s)" by The New Mystikal Troubadours

"I used to be a handsome man," he said to his eldest. "Then you came along and took half my looks and your sister followed, and she--rightly, I suppose--took the other half. And here I stand before you." Or, if you prefer: "We are chill. Well, we are and we aren't: You know what we mean, or you're not one of us."